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Therefore they shall laugh little and weep much as a recompense for what they earned.
[The Immunity (9), 82]
"If a person would like to advance in the spiritual areas of his life and to reach to the higher levels of spirituality, then he must look at his own self with a very critical eye..."
Oh , Adam's descendent ! you have within your reach whatever meets your needs , whereas you are seeking things that develop disobedience in you, you do not choose contentment , and nothing , however abundant, can satisfy you .
Narrated by Imam Reda peace and blessing be upon him.
Gharib al-Ghuraba, Moeen-uz-Zoafa-e-wal-Fuqara
The Significance of Self-control
It is a common idea amongst all religious and spiritual traditions that human beings should have some kind of self-control. Although we enjoy free will, we need to exercise our free will in a responsible way. In the same way that we expect others to respect our dignity and interests, we should respect dignity and interests of others. We should also safeguard our own dignity and long term interests. Thus, we cannot simply go after our whims and desires and do whatever we want. We need to have self-control and self-discipline which leads to self-purification. If we purify our hearts we will no longer need to resist our temptations and control ourselves against lower desires and lusts, since a purified person desires nothing except what is good and moral for himself and others. In what follows, we will study the necessity of self-control and self-purification.
Self-control
On the necessity of self-control, the Glorious Qur'an says:
وَ أَمَّا مَنْ خافَ مَقامَ رَبِّهِ وَ نَهَى النَّفْسَ عَنِ الْهَوى فَإِنَّ الْجَنَّةَ هِيَ الْمَأْوى
And as for him who fears to stand in the presence of his Lord and forbids his own soul from its whims and caprices then surely Paradise is the abode. (79:40 & 41)
يا داوُدُ إِنَّا جَعَلْناكَ خَليفَةً فِي الْأَرْضِ فَاحْكُمْ بَيْنَ النَّاسِ بِالْحَقِّ وَ لا تَتَّبِعِ الْهَوى فَيُضِلَّكَ عَنْ سَبيلِ اللَّهِ إِنَّ الَّذينَ يَضِلُّونَ عَنْ سَبيلِ اللَّهِ لَهُمْ عَذابٌ شَديدٌ بِما نَسُوا يَوْمَ الْحِسابِ
O David! …do not follow the whims of your own soul for they will lead you astray from God's path. (38:26)
يا أَيُّهَا الَّذينَ آمَنُوا كُونُوا قَوَّامينَ بِالْقِسْطِ شُهَداءَ لِلَّهِ وَ لَوْ عَلى أَنْفُسِكُمْ أَوِ الْوالِدَيْنِ وَ الْأَقْرَبينَ إِنْ يَكُنْ غَنِيًّا أَوْ فَقيراً فَاللَّهُ أَوْلى بِهِما فَلا تَتَّبِعُوا الْهَوى أَنْ تَعْدِلُوا وَ إِنْ تَلْوُوا أَوْ تُعْرِضُوا فَإِنَّ اللَّهَ كانَ بِما تَعْمَلُونَ خَبيراً
O you who have faith! Be maintainers of justice and witnesses for the sake of God, even if it should be against yourselves or [your] parents and near relatives, and whether it be [someone] rich or poor, for God has a greater right over them. So do not follow [your] desires, lest you should be unfair, and if you distort [the testimony] or disregard [it], God is indeed well aware of what you do. (4:135)
Here we find two pieces of advice. Firstly, to observe God's Will, to fear Him and to try to obey Him. And secondly, to forbid our soul from doing what is wrong and harmful to us. This becomes only possible when we have some kind of self-control. In Nahj al-Balaghah, there is a very beautiful and insightful description of an un-named brother. Imam Ali a.s. is quoted as saying:
كَانَ لِي فِيمَا مَضَى أَخٌ فِي اللَّهِ وَ كَانَ يُعْظِمُهُ فِي عَيْنِي صِغَرُ الدُّنْيَا فِي عَيْنِهِ … وَ كَانَ إِذَا بَدَهَهُ أَمْرَانِ يَنْظُرُ ]نَظَرَ[ أَيُّهُمَا أَقْرَبُ إِلَى الْهَوَى ]فَخَالَفَهُ[ فَيُخَالِفُهُ
In the past I had a brother-in-faith, and he was prestigious in my view because the world was insignificant in his eyes… If two things confronted him he would see which was more akin to his whims and he would do the other. (Wise Sayings, No. 289)
We see that one of the brother-in-faith's qualities was that when faced with two options, (for example whether to go to one place or another, one meeting or another or to engage in one business or another), that is, when he was at a 'crossroads' and wanted to choose which way to turn, he would look at his own soul/heart, trying to discover which course of action was dearer to his self, his own personal interest and then he would do the other one. For example, one might have the option to either watch TV or to help someone with his work. The soul which is not trained may encourage us to go and watch TV, saying that it is a waste of time to help the other person. But instead it is better to spend the time helping the other person.
Of course, we may not always be able to find out what is the right course of action by just following this instruction. But it is important to at least try to find out what our selfish desire wants us to do. God has given us the ability to distinguish between what our egoism or greediness wants from us and those things which are in our 'real' interests. When we work for our 'real' interest we also secure the interests of other people. God has created us in a way that when we really serve ourselves, then we serve all human beings. But if we try to be 'clever' and only serve ourselves, then we not only damage ourselves but also others. There are lots of ways to damage ourselves and others. But it is not possible to truly serve oneself and not serve others.
There is also another method which we can use when we want to make a decision and have two or three options to consider and do not know what to do. In such cases, it is useful to try to imagine that a person who is very pious, and whose actions you trust and accept, is in your place. Then try to decide what that person would do if he were in your place. Since you have information about the way that person normally makes his decisions and about his intentions and good will, by keeping that person in mind you may be able to understand what to do. For example, you could imagine a pious scholar or pious relative, not necessarily an infallible or saint. You could then think about what they might do and this would give you some kind of insight.
So, it is a basic fact that we must have self-control. If we believe that we should just do what we want by satisfying and gratifying ourselves, then there is no point in talking about spiritual direction. Of course, Islam tells us that self-control is just a beginning; it is for those people who are at the start of the journey. What we need to do is to transform our soul from one which has an interest in lower desires into a soul which instead has a yearning for good things. Then our soul itself becomes a helper and an assistant to us. But this is a matter of training and purifying the soul.
There is a beautiful story in the Mathnawi by Rumi which shows how the heart can be transformed in either a good way or a bad way. Rumi says that once there was a perfume market where every person who wanted to sell perfumes had a shop. As a result, whoever entered this bazaar would only sense the beautiful fragrance of perfumes. Everyone enjoyed it, especially the perfume sellers who of course are the best people to appreciate perfume due to their refined sense of smell, whereas we become confused after smelling too many different fragrances. But one day someone went to the bazaar with a horse and the horse dirtied the passageway of the bazaar. The people became very angry because they could not tolerate the bad smell but no-one had the strength to take the dirt outside. It was like torture for them. So someone suggested that they had better bring someone there whose job was to clean horses' stables. They went to ask a young man to help them. He said that of course he would be able to do this as this was his job and what he always did. But when he entered the bazaar, before even reaching the dirty place, as soon as he smelt the fragrance of perfume he became unconscious because he was used to bad smells and so could not tolerate good fragrances.
In a similar way, on one hand, we find people who enjoy praying, who enjoy having some private time with God. And, on the other hand, we find people who become angry when they see you praying and it causes them pain. And when they see you go to the mosque or the church, they feel troubled by this. There is a hadith which says that a believer in the mosque is like a fish in water but when a hypocrite is in the mosque he feels like he is in prison and always wants to escape. So these are the different states of the soul that we can reach through self-training and self-purification.
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By : Mohammad Ali Shomali
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